The Newspaper I was flicking through today carried an article claiming that people in Hong Kong are generally least happy in May and June. This is just the opposite of what I expected since, to me, since summer is associated with holidays and nice, sunny weather. Also, it’s the time I get to go back to the UK to see my family for a few weeks. The cause of these ‘summer blues’ is a bit of mystery. It could be that people get more depressed since there is no long holiday to look forward to – most people here work throughout the summer – and the weather is getting worse – hot, humid and unpleasant with lots of rain and storms.
The Newspaper I was flicking through today carried an article claiming that people in Hong Kong are generally least happy in May and June. This is just the opposite of what I expected since, to me, since summer is associated with holidays and nice, sunny weather. Also, it’s the time I get to go back to the UK to see my family for a few weeks. The cause of these ‘summer blues’ is a bit of mystery. It could be that people get more depressed since there is no long holiday to look forward to – most people here work throughout the summer – and the weather is getting worse – hot, humid and unpleasant with lots of rain and storms.
Martin E.P. Seligman, a pioneer of the movement called Positive Psychology, has tried to find out what makes us happy, and has come up with a list. Rather surprisingly, the list does not include money or health, but it does include being surrounded by family and friends, and judging ourselves by our own standards rather than trying to live up to the expectations of others. He also notes that people are also happy when they are engaged in activities which require a lot of concentration, such as playing a musical instrument or doing puzzles.
Patricia Bowmer, in her book In Pursuit of Joy: Life Lessons From Exhilaration, tells us that it is human nature to dwell on what is going wrong and suggests that taking a few minutes each week to write down three or four things you are grateful for can make a great deal of difference to the state of your mental health. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling a bit down.
- Are you fit and healthy?
- Do you have a family?
- Do you have any friends?
- Do you have enough to eat?
- Do you have a job or an income?
- Have you had an education?
- Can you read and write?
Pondering on these things is certain to make you feel happier. But why is gratitude such a powerful thing?
Life tends to give us what we subconsciously expect. Our experience of life, we could say, is a reflection or an echo of our inner world. So in order to attract and experience good things, we need to feel that we already have them. And this is just another way of saying we need to adopt an ‘attitude of gratitude.’
If it is your belief that you lack things, then that will be your experience of the world. If you think you are missing out on something, then you will not attract – or not notice – opportunities in your life. You will fail to see that you are in the right place at the right time. You will not see the significance in certain events or people coming your way.
If you value something very highly, if you treasure it and are grateful for it, then it is likely that it will grow and become more powerful since you are giving your attention and energy to it. This is true of everything in life – friendships, health, happiness and wealth.
All the great spiritual teachers have shown us that we need to be grateful for what we have. The grace before meals, for example, which I used to recite parrot fashion as a child, goes, ‘for what we are about to receive may the lord make us truly grateful.’ As a kid, I never understood why it was so important.
Of course, there are things currently lacking – life is not as we might wish it to be. But life is what it is at the moment, and to kick against it just causes more pain. The only sensible thing to do is to focus on what is good, to see the positive side, that the glass is half filled and not half empty. It is also useful to remember that life will never be complete – there is no such thing, because life is a creative endeavor and there is always more to do: we never get it done. This is why life is such a wonderful adventure.
Viktor Frankl said that between stimulus and response there is a gap, and within that gap is our whole experience of life. He discovered that happiness does not lie outside in the world; it lies within. Perhaps the level of happiness in cities like Hong Kong would increase if people just looked on the bright side a bit more. So what’s it to be? What will you focus on today?
Mark’s home on the web is EffortlessAbundance.com. You can read more in his latest book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life.
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