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Hi there... I'm new to this website - I was looking for a forum to vent into, with fellow migraine sufferers.
I have suffered with migraine ever since I was 17 or 18. At first I thought the migraines were to do with sun-stroke as at the time i was working outside in the summer for 12 hour shifts. Maybe the brightness or the heat caused the original migraines - but they continued after i left the job.
I've been on various drugs, doses and things but they don't continue working after so many month on precription. I was on loads of different drugs - so many i cannot even remember half of them. the issue here, is that i have also suffered from depression since the age of 14 - so now, 9 years later, i'm still very much depressed and have no idea what to do with myself.
I was on some tablets for about a year or so, Epilim 200mg - which were fantastic to begin with, but as the months went by i had to keep increasing the dose, up to 1800mg a day. it was just to many tablets, which make me gag anyway. The hospital agreed to take me off the drugs when i went in there and my hands were shaking, i was still refluxing bile and all sorts. It caused damage to my liver, and i was a little jaundiced.
Then, i went onto Topirimate, and muct have been on them a week or so only. I came off these immediately, because they made me very sick, depressed even more, and caused weakness of the bladder - which was extrememly embarrassing.
Now, i take 75mg Dosulepin, 50mg Diclofenac Sodium Enteric (formerly had voltarol dispersable) and i have other tablets called motilium, which i don't take very often.
If you shook me up and down i would rattle with the amount of tablets i have to take.
I have, in the past, also tried the nasal spray, which made me violently sick, and gave me a mild panic attack too. The taste in my mouth stayed there all day, and compared to the state of the migraine back then, there was just no point bothering with it.
I feel so lonely and sad because of this - I'm taking a day off every month because i'm so weak and ill all the time. As a side effect from all the medication, i've constantly got an upset stomach, weak bladder, shaking hands, cold feet and hands, jaundiced skin - it goes on and on.
Nobody at work can understand the situation for me. I've become a bit of a guinea pig at the hospital. I was also sent to the MRI lab for a scan of the brain as they suspected a brain tumour. Can you imagine what i was going through at that point?
I've been suffering from migrains now for just over 5 years, and i'm only coming up to 23 now. i feel too young to have to put up with this crap - it's preventing me from being the bubbly lively person i always used to be.
All this medication has made me gain 3 and a half stone - I'm only 5 foot, theres nowhere for it to go. I'm on a diet now to curb hunger and lose weight. Most of the time i've got an upset stomach, so i have to always be careful what i eat, although it doesn't stay long enough to digest properly anyway. i find i can be constipated or have diahorrea in the same day. my work is really suffering - i cannot concentrate, and i have to use the toilets on another floor so i can be sick in peace and quiet - to hide my big secret.
My boyfriend does take very good care of me. I suffer very badly from the bigraines - they;ve now been diagnosed with chronic cluster migraine with aura, yet I don't know what the cause is, they cant detect anything from my blood urine or scans. they have no idea what is causing these migraines.
some periodical migraines come on with a pang without any warning signs, but mostly, they come with an aura - usually a smell that nobody else can detect, sometimes its the smell of vomit, medical gauze (a weird one), or some sort of acidic chemical smell that makes me gag - yet nobody else can smell it.
i wear corrective lenses whn i'm using the computer at work (like right now) and they are fab. the first set of glasses i've had since the age of 8 that don't give me a headache. They are titanium rimless glasses - and it does make a huge difference, and a huge dent in your purse too, but well worth it as they alleviate a lot of the weight on your face.
mostly, the migraine is on the front and top lobes of my brain, but the rest of the time, less often, it's sitting either to the left or right. the only thing i can do is get fresh air, sit outside and close my eyes. even in the winter when its bloody cold outside i needed to sleep once, as the migraine was so bad, with my head out of the window despite it being minus one outside. I need to keep my head cool, with darkness and peace and quiet.
i work in london, though, so peace and quiet with fresh air is hard to come by. i wish i could have a room at the office, with cushions and a reclining chair to go into when i don't feel well. 30 minutes shut eye and i can feel a whole lot better, without it, i'm sitting at my desk with my eyes streaming with tears while i try my best to focus my blurry eyes on the monitor and keep working.
i'm due for another appointment in a few months at the hospital. i'll have to explain it all over again. i've been going for 4 years now and the doctor know me, medically, quite well now. He gave me triptans to try, and on in particular was a rather disgusting rizatriptan wafer - just don't accept or buy them they are really awful and leave you feeling quite sick.
I'm fed up of leading this life all the time - i used to be healthy happy and confident, now, i'm reclused, closed off and constantly stressed out.
If someone takes the time to read my story and get back to me i would be grateful for the time x x x
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