Overcoming fear is something almost everybody could benefit from since we all experience fear. Some fears – like being frightened of a big dog chasing you – are necessary and even beneficial. But most of the fears we experience are pointless and debilitating, and overcoming these fears is an essential part of living an effective and happy life.
There are several steps you can take which will enormously reduce – and often, completely eliminate – your fears.
First, you need to accept that you are in control, and that it is possible for you to overcome the fear. If there is anyone in the world who enjoys what you are afraid of, then it cannot be an inherently frightening thing. It is common, for example, to be very afraid of public speaking. There are, however, many people who love to speak in front of big crowds – they find it energizing and rewarding, and so public speaking cannot be frightening by nature: the fear is in your head. Once you truly believe this, overcoming fear is easier.
Secondly, you need to expose yourself to the things you fear. Don’t try to avoid them. Often, the anticipation of doing something is much worse that the thing itself. Jumping in and doing the things you fear will probably help you to realize that it isn’t so scary after all. The more you do it, the more relaxed you will become. It is quite possible that, after the first time, you will start to enjoy it. When I was a child, I was terrified of jumping into a swimming pool. One day, I was forced to do it and, after (quite literally) taking the plunge, I found it was a great experience, so I immediately lined up for another go!
The real key to overcoming your fears, however, is to deal with the images you have inside your head. People with phobias almost always carry around absurdly exaggerated images of the things for which they have a morbid fear. A spider, for example, will be imagined up close, in great detail and vivid colour, perhaps accompanied by frightening sounds. By deliberately changing the way such a person thinks of spiders – by reducing the size and contrast of the image, turning the spider into a comedy image, playing some amusing music as the image appears, etc. – the fear can be reduced enormously. Similar techniques can be used to overcome fear in just about any shape or form.
Techniques such as neurolinguistic programming (NLP) can be very beneficial in overcoming fear. NLP is fast, simple and has been shown to be highly effective. For years, many people have been hostage to their own thoughts – by taking back control and consciously changing the way we think, overcoming fear can be simple.
Mark Harrison writes for a number of well known self-improvement sites. His home on the web is EffortlessAbundance.com. Check out his latest book, Thirty Days to Change your Life.
Tags: NLP, overcoming fear, phobia, Positive Attitude
