Those who are planning to burn the Quran in the United States on 9/11 are ultimately motivated by one thing: a self-destructive impulse.
Although they claim and may actually believe that their intention is to honor the victims of 9/11, their true purpose, having been hurt and filled with anger, is to attack and lash out at those who hurt them.
Rather than trying to find a constructive way to channel their anger and their pain, they are planning to resort to aggression, violence, and terrorism, the very behaviors that they are essentially protesting against.
This is very short-sighted and self-destructive. Though it may be satisfying in the short run, in the long run it will further inflame those who attacked them, increasing the odds of additional attacks in the future which could be very painful and unpleasant.
It is foolish to unnecessarily provoke people, particularly unreasonable people whose actions you can’t predict. Whenever we poke a stick at somebody, even if we feel justified, we increase the potential for future aggression and violence against us in retaliation.
How does this apply to building self-esteem, our relationships and making money?
(1) In our personal relationships, when we have been hurt and we have the urge to hurt back, if we act on that urge and do something that is hurtful, aggressive, and unloving, we are increasing the potential for escalation of negative emotions and retaliation.
Additionally, we are increasing the potential for the relationship, in the long run, to fail, leaving us feeling unhappy, abandoned, rejected, angry, lonely and alone. By attacking rather than finding a way to mitigate our pain and resolve the problem, we push the other person away, which is usually not our ultimate intention.
(2) When we do hurtful, unloving things to others, even when we have been provoked and feel justified, on a subconscious level we feel bad about ourselves. It decreases our self-esteem. It increases our guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
When we increase our guilt, shame, and self-loathing, it increases our subconscious urge to punish ourselves, which takes the form of self-sabotaging behaviors that push people away and make them not want to cooperate with our goals and agendas.
For example: If making money is one of our goals, our subconscious mind will fuel oppositional, procrastinating, impulsive, reckless, and thoughtless actions that generate obstacles and setbacks on our road to success.
Although it has been said that the best defense is a good offense, this actually isn’t the case. In the short run, offense may protect us. In the long run, offensive actions do not generate sustainable security and safety. In the long run, finding more mature and enlightened ways to discharge negative emotions and resolve differences is the way to go if we wish to build our self-esteem, repair our relationships, and prosper.
CHECK OUT MY OTHER BLOG AT: http://walterjacobsonmd.com/blog
_________________________________________________________________
Stay up to date with personal development features, tips and advice from Walter Jacobson M.D. RSS Feed, Email Newsletter, Twitter
_________________________________________________________________
More From Walter Jacobson:
- The Power Of Optimism and Positive Attitude
- Denying Problems In Our Relationships Won’t Improve Our Chances Of Success
- The Power of Functional Flexibility to Heal and Repair Personal Relationships
- How To Succeed At Destroying Relationships Without Really Trying
- Changing The Truth of Who We Are
- “Easier said than done”: An insidious barrier to our success
- What Can Distortion Of The Truth By The Government And The Media Teach Us About Our Personal Relationships?
Tags: happiness, Self esteem
